Wednesday, December 15, 2021

Salud! by Don Taco

 



This is in the category of Painful Learning Experiences (PLE.)  We've all had them. This one happened to a friend, not to me. I was partially at fault, though.

  We were gathered in the college apartment with the great view along the bluffs over the ocean that some of the guys had rented that summer. Times were good. They had one of those giant wooden cable spools for a living room table, a round table, and we were all in a circle around it, and it was party time. Friday or Saturday night, all the chores done for the week. Along with the typical libations and indulgences, someone had brought a pint of tequila. 

  I cannot clearly recall who started it, or what led up to it, but the banter had developed into the idea that we would snort the tequila. Because that should really be a rush. Lots of joking about this concept was going around. No one was taking it too seriously. 

  But, the guy sitting to my right, I wish I could remember who it was, took the bottle, opened it, poured out a capful, held it up to his nose, tossed his head back, and snorted the capful of tequila. Then shook his head with vigor and insistence, widened his eyes in amazement, and let out a mighty exhalation of  breath, shivered a bit, and put the cap back on the bottle.

  Everyone was watching, also in amazement.

  Sitting next to him, though, I thought I saw what he really had done.

  So, being next in line, I got the bottle, unscrewed the cap, made a show of filling the cap with tequila, but didn't actually put that much in it, held it up to my nose, threw my head back, tossing the small amount of tequila into my moustache and across my face, widened my eyeballs, shook, coughed and sputtered just a little, shivered, exclaimed 'Wowsers!,' put the cap back on the bottle, and set it down.

  Everyone was watching.

  Now, to my left, next in line, Becky Ross must not have seen what was actually going on. And, since it appeared that we were all having a little snort, with no obvious harmful effects, she got the bottle, poured out a capful, held it up to her nose, and snorted it.

  And then she exploded. A violent reaction. Luckily, she had set the bottle down, or who knows where it would have been thrown. Apparently, from my viewpoint, tequila in the nasal passages is quite volatile, painful, and shocking. Becky's face turned beet red, tears were streaming, she was gasping and fighting for breath, so much so that she could barely even whimper, and a great deal of gasping and coughing occurred before she was able to calm down and gather herself again.

  People did what they could to help, and after a few minutes, the room was back to normal. Mostly. 

  And so now, me and the other guy, who are getting a lot of side-eye from Becky, can't really admit that we cheated. Because it's bad enough that we made her look like a wimp, but if instead we made her look stupid, I'm pretty sure it would only have been worse. So, we just kept our mouths shut.

  No one else tried it. I guess there are lessons you just don't have to learn for yourself.

  



  

No comments:

Post a Comment

Blood and Sand by Paul Delgado

 Blood and Sand Paul Delgado When I was thirteen, I wanted to be a Matador. I must have read I’ll Dress You in Mourning by Dominique La Pier...