My Dog Snores by Mike Freeman

 My Dog Snores

By Mike Freeman

My dog's snoring really upsets me. It is not just because he keeps me awake; it is because he snores louder than I do, which enables him to keep me awake. The unwritten rule is the loudest snorer sleeps peacefully while everyone and everything else ponders the thunderous volume of sound.

My dog’s snoring is like an asthmatic horse with a sinus infection. He is louder than a trumpet stuck up an elephant’s nose. He can resurrect the dead before Jesus comes!

Ricky is 10 years old, which is allegedly 70 years in dog years. I am 71. Our bodies make various rumbly noises while we sleep. So far, I am winning the volume war in this new endeavor, but I am concerned he will rally past me as he ages more quickly.

Lately, he barks, growls, and makes weird doggy whimpering sounds in his sleep. Lord knows what is going on in his doggy dreams. I don't. I can't dream because he does.

He also moves around a lot. He plops down at my feet and then moves over to lie down on my bladder or stomach. Then he is up by my head. Lots of commotion. His continual body beatings keep me awake as I try to anticipate where he is moving next. He has a knack for lying on the TV remote, turning the TV off when I want it on and on when I want it off.

Dogs sleep 12 to 14 hours a day, every day. That means he gets more practice at doing all of the above. The trends are not my friends regarding any of the above matters. Sleepless nights are my future.

It is a wonderful thing that God created Ricky to bring so much love, joy, and fun to me when we are awake. Dogs being man's best friend should be the 11th commandment!